Since I will not be able to visit any clubs this weekend I'll start you with a story from the Ron Mexico files.....
Before coming to Tampa I had been to a bunch of clubs and had fun drinking and looking at the girls, then I came to Tampa and had the distinct pleasure of going to clubs with Ron Mexico. Gentleman's Clubs, Strip Clubs, Bikini Bars whatever you want to call them will never be the same again...
It was Thanksgiving one year and Ron Mexico was supposed to head home for the weekend but something happened with his standby flight and he ended up flying all over the east coast for 16 hours and ending up back at Tampa International Airport. With all his friends out of town for the holiday he was left with nothing to do but go to Odyssey 2001 and take rides in the space ship.
Back in town the following weekend Ron Mexico regaled me with stories of how much fun he had going to 2001 over Thanksgiving, beautiful women.... beautiful women.... and more beautiful women. Clearly this could mean only one thing, we had to go so I could enjoy the much heralded Odyssey 2001! So after a night filled with partying at several bars in Tampa we made our way to the club where the bouncer greeted us with a knowing smile toward Ron Mexico and then checked my I.D. After paying our cover the greeter told him how nice it was to see him again.... "Ron Mexico great to see you again wait here" then there was an announcement for one of the dancers, we will call her "candy" (can't remember her real stage name), to come to the front. "O.K. Ron you ready to go to the spaceship with Candy"
It was at that moment that I realized everything Ron Mexico had told me not only about that night but all his other nights was probably true. He didn't go to the spaceship that night and Candy certainly was disappointed her billfold would be $200 lighter after all, but it was clear he not only had been up there but also knew every dancer in that club as they strolled by calling him by name. I wasn't sure which impressed me more, that these girls could all remember his name or that he remembered all their names.
2001 Was fun, but that would only be a prelude of what was to come.... Adventures with Ron Mexico would soon become a regular occurrence where truth was stranger than fiction.
Friday, November 13, 2009
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
A little too harsh on Envy
So I may have been a little harsh on Envy with my post yesterday. In all fairness I have been there before and had a good time. The bartenders were always nice, and occassionally if it is slow there will be shot specials. The other plus is the Pappa Johns a couple doors down which has great pizza, have ordered pie's over to Envy since they don't serve food.
The girls have never been amazing but usually they will not be annoying about asking for lap dances. Even at it's slowest I had never seen the place with just one girl. So I guess for a dive strip club it's not too bad. Another plus is they do have several T.V.'s around the bar so it can be a good place to watch a game if you dont want your girl bothering you. I'll be looking to make another "Envy Run" soon, hoping for a better taste in my mouth next time.
-Vince Money
The girls have never been amazing but usually they will not be annoying about asking for lap dances. Even at it's slowest I had never seen the place with just one girl. So I guess for a dive strip club it's not too bad. Another plus is they do have several T.V.'s around the bar so it can be a good place to watch a game if you dont want your girl bothering you. I'll be looking to make another "Envy Run" soon, hoping for a better taste in my mouth next time.
-Vince Money
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Club Envy..... Sponsored by the number 1!!
Walking into Club Envy you can see that it is your typical Tampa strip club. Dark, dingy, loud, and has a pole..... Not that there is anything wrong with that, in fact most nights I would be happy to sit at a bar talk about how the Bucs might even screw up getting the first pick in the draft. However if I am going to be paying $6 for a Corona and breathe in smoke filled air, I better be able to see some titties. When I say "some" titties I am not talking about 2 either, I'd like to see a good array of women walking by me, dancing, and looking hot. But like I said Club Envy was sponsored by the Number 1 that night.... 1 Female entertainer. Sure you might be thinking we stopped in at noon on a Tuesday, NOPE Saturday night from 8-9PM there was one girl. She wasn't unattractive, but she sure wasn't a 10 either.
Needless to say I was completely underwhelmed by the experience which was capped off by my co-horts being so drunk they couldn't pay the tab, so that 1 beer cost me about $80 because they all decided to do shots! Obviously that isn't the fault of Club Envy but it didn't help my night either, since I wouldn't have minded seeing the tab..... 4 Corona's and then whatever shots the other fools were buying for the bartender and I'm out $80.
The flip side is the only thing that would have made the night worthwhile would have been the Bartender getting on stage! It could have been the lack of girls to compare her to but at that time she was looking good. In hindsight I probably should have asked her to get on the stage and earn the tip I was going to give her. Yes I was going to give her just the tip!!
With just one entertainer you might think that I wouldn't get a good idea of how the lap dances were. You would be wrong because all 3 of my friends decided they needed to check out the back room, which is really not a back room but an area with opaque shades that you can see through not exactly the most private place in the world. And there is nothing worse than seeing a drunken friend falling asleep while getting a lap dance, made me want to go in there punch him in the gut so he could at least enjoy the dance. I didn't make my way back there, something about getting sloppy 4ths from the dancer that spent the last 45 minutes grinding on my friends... just wasn't worth it. In the interest of journalism I did ask the guys how her dances were and they all agreed it was very average.
Upon leaving there was no front door person/bouncer to order us a taxi but we were able to call and get one to pick us up in about 15 minutes. I would have thought being on Kennedy it would be easy to get a cab but that wasn't the case.
Bottom line I can't even give this place a grade. Maybe it wasn't any one's fault, did all the girls have swine flu and they didn't want us to get it? If that's the case I should be commending them. So take what you will from the above rant, I'm hoping the next time Vince Money steps into Club Envy things go a little better. I mean if there are two girls there next time it would be twice as good!!!
Needless to say I was completely underwhelmed by the experience which was capped off by my co-horts being so drunk they couldn't pay the tab, so that 1 beer cost me about $80 because they all decided to do shots! Obviously that isn't the fault of Club Envy but it didn't help my night either, since I wouldn't have minded seeing the tab..... 4 Corona's and then whatever shots the other fools were buying for the bartender and I'm out $80.
The flip side is the only thing that would have made the night worthwhile would have been the Bartender getting on stage! It could have been the lack of girls to compare her to but at that time she was looking good. In hindsight I probably should have asked her to get on the stage and earn the tip I was going to give her. Yes I was going to give her just the tip!!
With just one entertainer you might think that I wouldn't get a good idea of how the lap dances were. You would be wrong because all 3 of my friends decided they needed to check out the back room, which is really not a back room but an area with opaque shades that you can see through not exactly the most private place in the world. And there is nothing worse than seeing a drunken friend falling asleep while getting a lap dance, made me want to go in there punch him in the gut so he could at least enjoy the dance. I didn't make my way back there, something about getting sloppy 4ths from the dancer that spent the last 45 minutes grinding on my friends... just wasn't worth it. In the interest of journalism I did ask the guys how her dances were and they all agreed it was very average.
Upon leaving there was no front door person/bouncer to order us a taxi but we were able to call and get one to pick us up in about 15 minutes. I would have thought being on Kennedy it would be easy to get a cab but that wasn't the case.
Bottom line I can't even give this place a grade. Maybe it wasn't any one's fault, did all the girls have swine flu and they didn't want us to get it? If that's the case I should be commending them. So take what you will from the above rant, I'm hoping the next time Vince Money steps into Club Envy things go a little better. I mean if there are two girls there next time it would be twice as good!!!
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Thee Dollhouse of Tampa
Had the chance to stop over at Thee Dollhouse Friday afternoon and celebrate the end of another week. When I think weekend i don't hear the closing bell in my mind I hear Motley Crue blaring out the 1987 classic "Girls Girls Girls". It always takes a while for the eyes to adjust to the dim neon lights but when they do it's like the scene from The Wizard of Oz going from black and white to Technicolor..... Let the good times roll!!!
The first thing I noticed was how clean the whole club was, I mean immaculate! Nothing ruins a good time more than hearing your freshly shined shoes stick to the floor. Never had to worry about that at Thee Dollhouse as it was spotless from the door to the bathroom. O.K. the vacumed floor and freshly shined bar may not have been the FIRST thing I noticed but it definitly adds to the overall experience.
You will notice one thing or rather one thing missing from the stage at Thee Dollhouse, there is no pole. Thats right there is no poll dancing which is unusual to say the least when talking about Gentlemans clubs. At first this may be a little disappointing however after a while I came to the realization that this makes for a much classier experience. We have all seen a girl swing around a pole, climb up to the top like a monkey, or occassionally fall off a pole (when this happens it is usually the most entertaining part of that new girls dance routine). Needless to say if you want to see a pole dance there are a million other places you can go, but if you want a classier experience you will find it at Thee Dollhouse.
The girls on stage do the classsic three song routine getting down to a G-string and Pasty's for the third song. So if you see a girl you want to tip ("and remember guys seats at the main stage are reserved for tipping customers only") make sure you get up there by the third song or you might miss your chance. Remember these girls are smart if you are the guy tipping them not only will you get more attention while they are on stage but you may enjoy more conversation with them when they are not on stage.
This brings me to the next point I found most of the entertainers at Thee Dollhouse to understand why most of the guys in my group were there and respect that. Me I was just there for some drinks and a nice view and maybe some light conversation the girls respected that and didn't hound me for a dance. When I politely declined one offer I was not met with hostility or passive agression that occurs at many other places, the girl understood and we exchanged "maybe next time's". The guy to my right was there for the first time and it was obvious, he had trouble keeping his head from swiveling around 360 degrees as some of the finest women in Tampa walked behind him. The girls took notice of him chatted him up and when it was time for a dance the girl put a smile on his face that lasted untill I left which was about 30 minutes later! Ohhh there was also a guy with us who simply wanted dances and found a girl who was happy to oblige, I mean this guy came in with a mission and was successfull. We have all had the friend that goes into the club and disappears in back never to be heard from again untill it is time to leave, this was him and all he said when leaving was "That was Awsome!!!!".
The dances there run $20 per song however there are a couple promotions out there that allow you to get 2-4-1's. You can either get there early durring the week, wait for the "DJ special" which you'll know when you hear it, or buy the promotions mentioned in a prevoius blog that get you 50% off EVERYTHING till 10 P.M. M-F. So if you are looking to make the most of your money in today's tight economy Thee Dollhouse offers unbeatable offers.
The drinks there are average to slightly above average priced for a gentleman's club. Bottle of domestic will run you around $5 and cocktails $6-7. However if you are there at the right time or buy their promotions ahead of time you can cut your spending in half with 2-4-1's. The bartender who made my drink (Tanqueray and Tonic) did a great job and was promptly ready to make another one as I finished the first. I was also impressed by her recollection of me and my drink from the last time I had been there was over a month ago!
Overall I was impressed by Thee Dollhouse and it's staff, I would highly reccomend it as an afterwork club and will be visiting again for a late night critique soon!
By the numbers/grades
Time visited: Friday 5-7 PM
Ratio: Mabye 20 customers or so in the club, 13-15 entertainers
Entertainment Quality: B+ (for an afternoon/early evening shift there were enough good looking girls to keep everyone happy, looking forward to a visit later at night)
Speed of drink service: A no wait
Quality/Strength of drinks: A- Strong, but not too strong
Appearance setup of Club: A+ Clean, large main stage, 2nd stage near bar. High class option that is different from most of the other clubs around.
Affordability: B with no promotions, very average. A+ when the bill is cut in half with prepurchased promotions!
The first thing I noticed was how clean the whole club was, I mean immaculate! Nothing ruins a good time more than hearing your freshly shined shoes stick to the floor. Never had to worry about that at Thee Dollhouse as it was spotless from the door to the bathroom. O.K. the vacumed floor and freshly shined bar may not have been the FIRST thing I noticed but it definitly adds to the overall experience.
You will notice one thing or rather one thing missing from the stage at Thee Dollhouse, there is no pole. Thats right there is no poll dancing which is unusual to say the least when talking about Gentlemans clubs. At first this may be a little disappointing however after a while I came to the realization that this makes for a much classier experience. We have all seen a girl swing around a pole, climb up to the top like a monkey, or occassionally fall off a pole (when this happens it is usually the most entertaining part of that new girls dance routine). Needless to say if you want to see a pole dance there are a million other places you can go, but if you want a classier experience you will find it at Thee Dollhouse.
The girls on stage do the classsic three song routine getting down to a G-string and Pasty's for the third song. So if you see a girl you want to tip ("and remember guys seats at the main stage are reserved for tipping customers only") make sure you get up there by the third song or you might miss your chance. Remember these girls are smart if you are the guy tipping them not only will you get more attention while they are on stage but you may enjoy more conversation with them when they are not on stage.
This brings me to the next point I found most of the entertainers at Thee Dollhouse to understand why most of the guys in my group were there and respect that. Me I was just there for some drinks and a nice view and maybe some light conversation the girls respected that and didn't hound me for a dance. When I politely declined one offer I was not met with hostility or passive agression that occurs at many other places, the girl understood and we exchanged "maybe next time's". The guy to my right was there for the first time and it was obvious, he had trouble keeping his head from swiveling around 360 degrees as some of the finest women in Tampa walked behind him. The girls took notice of him chatted him up and when it was time for a dance the girl put a smile on his face that lasted untill I left which was about 30 minutes later! Ohhh there was also a guy with us who simply wanted dances and found a girl who was happy to oblige, I mean this guy came in with a mission and was successfull. We have all had the friend that goes into the club and disappears in back never to be heard from again untill it is time to leave, this was him and all he said when leaving was "That was Awsome!!!!".
The dances there run $20 per song however there are a couple promotions out there that allow you to get 2-4-1's. You can either get there early durring the week, wait for the "DJ special" which you'll know when you hear it, or buy the promotions mentioned in a prevoius blog that get you 50% off EVERYTHING till 10 P.M. M-F. So if you are looking to make the most of your money in today's tight economy Thee Dollhouse offers unbeatable offers.
The drinks there are average to slightly above average priced for a gentleman's club. Bottle of domestic will run you around $5 and cocktails $6-7. However if you are there at the right time or buy their promotions ahead of time you can cut your spending in half with 2-4-1's. The bartender who made my drink (Tanqueray and Tonic) did a great job and was promptly ready to make another one as I finished the first. I was also impressed by her recollection of me and my drink from the last time I had been there was over a month ago!
Overall I was impressed by Thee Dollhouse and it's staff, I would highly reccomend it as an afterwork club and will be visiting again for a late night critique soon!
By the numbers/grades
Time visited: Friday 5-7 PM
Ratio: Mabye 20 customers or so in the club, 13-15 entertainers
Entertainment Quality: B+ (for an afternoon/early evening shift there were enough good looking girls to keep everyone happy, looking forward to a visit later at night)
Speed of drink service: A no wait
Quality/Strength of drinks: A- Strong, but not too strong
Appearance setup of Club: A+ Clean, large main stage, 2nd stage near bar. High class option that is different from most of the other clubs around.
Affordability: B with no promotions, very average. A+ when the bill is cut in half with prepurchased promotions!
Monday, October 19, 2009
Discounts Now Available!!
Guys the ink has finally dried and it is all of us guys that will bennefit. Amplifi Marketing now has your ticket to Thee Dollhouse..... and you will not believe the deal being offered!
We all know the feeling of waking up the next day and first looking in your pockets from the night before, hoping against hope to find a twenty or two.... NOTHING. Then opening the wallet and finding nothing but a folded up five and 3 crisp ones, sure you don't know why you are left with $8 maybe you were saving it for the taxi, or more likely a late night run for the border at Taco Bell!
At this point you are going back through the night thinking about the various places you spent money doing some quick math and thinking, "That wasn't too big of a night." Then you remember that stop which ended up being a lot longer than the 20 minutes your friend told you it would be. You curse the $8.00 ATM fee, smile when thinking about how YOU got the hottest girl in the club to give you a dance, and finally begin to wonder just how much money you spent there. $40? $80? Then you remember the bar tab was $80something which you picked up because two of your friends didn't want to hit the ATM and you were feeling like a rock star! GULP how much money did you shell out at that place..... lets not think about it and just get to work.
It's mid morning Friday morning, the coffee has kicked in and hangover is gone all good news.... Now it's time to face the music and log into your account..... $122.77, must have left a good tip. right below that you see the $68 ATM withdrawal. So $8, to get $60???? what the hell is that all about!!! $200......... and two thoughts come to mind. How the hell did I spend that much money in under two hours? And the guys definitly owe me a couple rounds this weekend!
We all know Gentlemans Clubs/Strip Clubs can be a great time but they can also be disproportionally expensive hour for hour when considering other options for the night. Then again we always have one hell of a time so depriving yourself of this time honored tradition is just plain mean. It is time to cut that bill in HALF! I'm not talking about skipping the lap dances (that would be unamerican, how else are these girls going to pay their college tuition) or being the jerk that doesn't know how to tip.
This Marketing company has come to me with a promotion wich gives the buyer $40 worth of club entry, services, and drinks for only $20. Right now these promotions are available for use at Thee Dollhouse here in Tampa as well as The Penthouse Club. I spoke to the President of Amplifi and he explained that the vouchers could be used Monday-Friday untill 10P.M, and that they didn't have any cash value outside the clubs. The promotion starts Thursday which is perfect as I plan on using the promotion Friday and postin my first club review of Thee Dollhouse this weekend!
After seeing the bills or "Dollhouse Dollars" as they are called I am impressed by the artwork and think these are a must for any Man's Man in Tampa. I am having a little bit of a problem now though because sometimes I try to put a number on the cash I plan on spending at a club and do my best to stay within that budget. Right now I am having trouble figuring out whether I should spend the same amount of money and have twice the fun, or save half the money....... For all my efforts to save money in this tough economy and as much as I tell mysef I should save money, I think it is a safe bet I'll be looking for twins Friday!
Ohh ya if anyone wants these halfprice dollhouse dollars call 813-402-6912. Or email tampaclubs4half@hotmail.com
-VINCE
We all know the feeling of waking up the next day and first looking in your pockets from the night before, hoping against hope to find a twenty or two.... NOTHING. Then opening the wallet and finding nothing but a folded up five and 3 crisp ones, sure you don't know why you are left with $8 maybe you were saving it for the taxi, or more likely a late night run for the border at Taco Bell!
At this point you are going back through the night thinking about the various places you spent money doing some quick math and thinking, "That wasn't too big of a night." Then you remember that stop which ended up being a lot longer than the 20 minutes your friend told you it would be. You curse the $8.00 ATM fee, smile when thinking about how YOU got the hottest girl in the club to give you a dance, and finally begin to wonder just how much money you spent there. $40? $80? Then you remember the bar tab was $80something which you picked up because two of your friends didn't want to hit the ATM and you were feeling like a rock star! GULP how much money did you shell out at that place..... lets not think about it and just get to work.
It's mid morning Friday morning, the coffee has kicked in and hangover is gone all good news.... Now it's time to face the music and log into your account..... $122.77, must have left a good tip. right below that you see the $68 ATM withdrawal. So $8, to get $60???? what the hell is that all about!!! $200......... and two thoughts come to mind. How the hell did I spend that much money in under two hours? And the guys definitly owe me a couple rounds this weekend!
We all know Gentlemans Clubs/Strip Clubs can be a great time but they can also be disproportionally expensive hour for hour when considering other options for the night. Then again we always have one hell of a time so depriving yourself of this time honored tradition is just plain mean. It is time to cut that bill in HALF! I'm not talking about skipping the lap dances (that would be unamerican, how else are these girls going to pay their college tuition) or being the jerk that doesn't know how to tip.
This Marketing company has come to me with a promotion wich gives the buyer $40 worth of club entry, services, and drinks for only $20. Right now these promotions are available for use at Thee Dollhouse here in Tampa as well as The Penthouse Club. I spoke to the President of Amplifi and he explained that the vouchers could be used Monday-Friday untill 10P.M, and that they didn't have any cash value outside the clubs. The promotion starts Thursday which is perfect as I plan on using the promotion Friday and postin my first club review of Thee Dollhouse this weekend!
After seeing the bills or "Dollhouse Dollars" as they are called I am impressed by the artwork and think these are a must for any Man's Man in Tampa. I am having a little bit of a problem now though because sometimes I try to put a number on the cash I plan on spending at a club and do my best to stay within that budget. Right now I am having trouble figuring out whether I should spend the same amount of money and have twice the fun, or save half the money....... For all my efforts to save money in this tough economy and as much as I tell mysef I should save money, I think it is a safe bet I'll be looking for twins Friday!
Ohh ya if anyone wants these halfprice dollhouse dollars call 813-402-6912. Or email tampaclubs4half@hotmail.com
-VINCE
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